A few years ago, the marvelous Lyn Stone spoke at our RWA chapter meeting about becoming published and the unexpected situations that come up. One of those was how some friends react to you becoming published. I was really surprised that she had a friend act ugly about her becoming published as that friend didn’t write and Lyn is such a sweetheart. That is, that’s the way I remember it. I would’ve understood another writer ‘friend’ becoming jealous. It’s hard for us all to hold back that green monster when a writer friend becomes published with their first book or hit the NYT best selling list or quit work to write full time. A true friend will fight back that monster and wish their friend congratulations (and mean it).
Even after listening to her presentation, I was still surprised by a couple of my non-writing friends. Thankfully more than not were happy for me and just as excited as I was by my sale. The catty remarks about me having money and being able to quit work (neither has happened), I fended off with humor and then later with serious information. Then it got to the point anytime I would mention something about my book, they would change the subject. At first, I thought maybe I was talking too much about it and it was boring them. So I only talked about it when someone asked (not the friend but others around them). But that didn’t appear to help and our friendship became more strained each day.
Then I started thinking about it. If they were really my friend, they would ask me questions, especially around the release dates. Well, I decided it’s no big deal. I have several friends who are only readers that enjoy talking about my books and the journey I’m taking. I make a point of asking them questions about their lives, family and books they’re reading to keep the conversation even. Yes, I’ve had other writer friends who dominate conversations about their books and never ask about mine (before I was published in particular). So I know how frustrating that can be too.
There are a few writers I’m acquainted with who avoid talking to me now, but that’s no worry. The Lord has blessed me with lots of caring and loving friends of all types.
One thing I never expected, and should’ve considering past history, was having family members who throw little temper-tantrums because I’m getting so much attention from other family members. Thankfully, being family, I know them well and ignore their little attitudes and plan to continue to enjoy my first two books and hopefully many more afterwards. Just wait until they see how much weight I lost. They will pout or make remarks about me taking so long to lose so little. Can you tell I’ve already had one conversation with a family member? That’s only a sign of a person who’s never been overweight. Besides, it took me 37 years to get as heavy as I was, four months to lose half the weight I need to get rid of is great. The doctor said it should take until next year (July). Check out this link for info on healthy weight loss.
Just thought I would pass on this info for newly published and soon-to-be published authors along with my special friends who congratulate me and ask questions about my books. LOL!