Sunday, October 16, 2011

The Uninformed

Though I came across this with a few people who admitted they read VERY little, and they have an excuse (sorta), but I had it from people who claimed to read several books a year.  They asked the following questions.

Where can I buy your book? (This is asked over and over again.)
When can I order your book?
Why can't I buy it in a store? (Then the next question comes up.)
Is it a real book?
Is it from a real publisher?
You wrote a book?
Avon? Is the cosmetic company publishing books now?
What is the price of your book?
Are you going to quit your job now?
Are you rich?
Aren't you proud of yourself?
I think I'll write a book and get published now. Can you get me published?

To me, these questions are strange.  Even before I even considered writing books (a long time ago), I knew most of these answers including the Avon one.  As a reader, I knew Avon on the spine meant it was a good read.

Okay, here are the answers for those who just don't know but will never read my blog to find the answer, because bless their hearts (Yep. I said it.), they don't know how to find my blog. Plus when I tell people (even those I know and know me) to check out my website, they always ask me, "How can I find it?" It is an unusual name I've gone by every day of my life for the last thirty-seven years.

Where can I buy your book?
Anywhere (legally) you can buy books on-line.

When can I order your book?
Last summer. Last week. Today. Tomorrow and probably for many years afterwards. But I would really appreciate it you buy it today and no later than Tuesday. Why? Because the pre-orders and the day of release are the most important to an author. No. I won't make more money, but this will count for (1) the best selling lists (If I'm that lucky) and (2) even if I don't make the lists, it will impress my publishing house, and they'll offer me another contract. And that's very important. I do need more contracts, so I can share more stories, especially about this series.

Why can't I buy it in a store?
I knew this going in, and it's really no problem  E-format is very popular with the people who love to read. Those who will only buy (if they really do and not just saying it) the first copy won't care if the next book is e-format or paperback anyway. Why? Because the ones who don't read, won't read this either.  But thanks for your supportive words.

Is it a real book?
Yes. Virginia, it's real.

Is it from a real publisher?
Oh, yeah.  Last time I checked, HarperCollins is a real publisher. I even Google Earth their office building.  You need to try it. It's so cool.

You wrote a book?
Yep. I promise I did. Why would I lie about that?  (In my sarcasm, I want to say so badly, "No. I just wanted to see your face.  SURPRISE!") Besides, do I look that stupid? Please don't answer that.

Avon? Is the cosmetic company publishing books now?
Now on this, I bet all Avon authors get it from their family and friends not into reading and/or writing.  Oh, by the way, if you don't know.  NO.  No connection.

What is the price of your book?
::sigh:: This is actually a question I cannot answer. Why you ask? Because HarperCollins (Avon Impulse) sets the price, but the book sellers can sell it at any price they want. But the book seller has to pay HC the amount agreed upon. So if the book sellers sells it below cost, the book seller loses the money, not HC or me (or my agent).  It's a different story if HC lowers the price.  Presently, the "retail selling price" is $3.99 for the e-format and $6.99 for the paperback.

Are you going to quit your job now?
Don't I wish! But alas, most new authors don't make enough to even get off Welfare. And, no, I'm not on Welfare.  Remember, the job you asked about me quiting?

Are you rich?
Not everyone is as lucky as the author who wrote Twilight. And she wasn't rich (unless she was previously) until a couple years later. Yes. It takes a while to get your royalty checks and those books grew in popularity. And I was referring to the first one. The later ones flew off the shelves.

Aren't you proud of yourself?
Part of me believes the people who ask this were proud for me, but another part (cynical) believed they thought I was already a holier-than-thou person. Sometimes I guess I can come off like that because it's a defensive mechanism for me to stiffen up and be short with my answers. Especially if I feel they are trying to find something to use against me.

Anyway, I answered, "I'm very happy I'm finally published. It's something I've wanted and dreamed about for a long, long time."

I think I'll write a book and get published now. Can you get me published?
I always laugh at this one. I tell them it took me nine plus years. Usually, that shuts them up.