Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Love Nature...From The Other Side of Glass

In Mary's blog yesterday, she mentioned she hates camping. Me too! I've tried it twice and I can tell you it left a lot to be desired.

My dad loves the outdoors. He use to hunt (rifle & bow) and fish. He loved driving his boat, pulling skiers or just checking out the scenery. I never got the guts up as a kid to try water skiing. In my twenties I tried it and I never could get my butt up out of the water. It was the strangest enema I ever had. Yeah, yeah, TMI.

But thankfully Dad never acted like he was interested in camping. His idea of roughing it was in an double wide mobile home next to a huge lake or in a RV.

After my hubby and I got married, his friends asked us to go to Talledega (NASCAR race) and camp out. Since we were poor and barely could afford the tickets, there was no way we could buy a deluxe tent or rent a RV (I can't remember if you could do that back in the 70's). So he bought us a pup tent. Yep. The type you crawl into and have to back out of because it was so small.

The evening was sort of fun. There were about ten of us and we cooked out, talked and drank (sodas for me) and laughed a lot. One of my hubby's friends owned a chopper (fancy motorcycle - think EASY RIDER) and we rode it around, enjoying the feel of being young, free, and hippies. Hey, it WAS the 70's.

Then bedtime came. I like to brush my teeth, wash my face and...uh..."use" the bathroom. The area we were camped at didn't have restrooms or port-a-potties. Nothing. Someone in the group nailed a tarp on a tree and worked the edges out to make a makeshift teepee. (Get it?) Yep. You guessed it. That was our restroom. Yuck! It was stinky and grossing. I hated it.

Well, that night as we snuggled in our little pup tent (everyone else had deluxe fancy ones), it rained. I woke to a cold snap. Not freezing, thank goodness, but it wasn't pleasant. Damp, cold everything. Double yuck! I felt dirty all day long. In fact, I didn't go back to Talledega for twenty-something years and I can promise you, no camping out.

Now you would think that was enough, but noooo, I let my hubby talk me into going out camping again a year later. Once again, we had the ugly, smelly pup tent and the other couple had the luxury suite tent. But my hubby thoughtfully brought along two air mattresses. How sweet, huh? Wait for it.

We had a pretty good time. We cooked out, laughed, joked around, drank (I had sodas) and we even had a restroom just up the hill from our camp about 20 yards from the lake. That's much better.

When we stretched out on the air mattresses that night, it felt so good. No hard ground. Even when it started to rain, I was okay with it as I was dry and it was summer, so no worry of it getting cold. Wait for it.

Next morning I woke up and realized the air was out of my mattress. Then I noticed my back and arms were wet. I WAS IN AN INCH OF WATER! I kicked my hubby and told him I had been SLEEPING IN WATER! When all he did was grumble and turn over to go back to sleep (his AIR MATTRESS WAS FLOATING!!), I unzipped the tent and stepped out into the lake. Yes, the frigging LAKE! **There it is.*** It had rain so much that night the lake had overtaken our campground. By the way, the other couple's tent didn't leak and they were dry.

After I did some stomping around and screaming...yes, I don't take well to waking up in water in the middle of the frigging LAKE! I got into the car and refused to get out. I wanted to go home and that's exactly what we did. Yes. I wasn't pleasant. I'm not a morning person, but this was beyond crazy.

That was the last time I ever camped. RV's, hotels, and cabins are for me. Everyone else can keep the tents...pup or super luxury. I don't care. Stupid frigging camping.