Monday, November 19, 2012


When I was around ten or so, my grandfather gave me $20. I'm not sure why. I don't remember it being my birthday, and I normally didn't receive anything like a birthday card, no less present from my grandparents. They had nine of thirteen kids who grew up and had kids of their own. So you can imagine the number of grandkids and great grandkids they had by the time I came along as my mom was the baby girl (living) of the family.

But when he gave me the twenty (really wish I could remember the details leading up to that), my mom had a fit. She said I was too young for that much money. Nowadays that would be like giving a kid a fifty. Anyway, I remember the dilemma of trying to figure out what to buy no matter how many times mom would tell me to save it. But save it for what?

Though I don't remember what I spent it on, that feeling has never gone away.

Whenever I get a sum of money that I don't expect, I hoard it for a little while and then it slowly dwindles away. Sure, I can think back and remember what I purchased and half are things I need or had wanted for a long time, but the rest disappears. Usually, I buy clothes for myself and my children and go to the restaurants I prefer.

Yep. Disappears.