One of my buddies at work said she could watch this all day long. Oh, yeah. Me too.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
How Far Can I Go?
I've been thinking of this for the last year, especially since I've become published. Time is precious (no matter published or not) and I believe I'll give the blog about 40 more posts (that'll make it post 1000) and then I'll call it quits. It doesn't interest many people (Hello, JoAnn! And whoever it is that looks at it from Mountainview, CA!) and I really need to dedicate my time to productive things that generate more interest than this. Even my kids don't read it. :-)
What do I plan to do with it? Probably pull it together into a book for myself. I believe Blogger has a program set up so I can do that. Hopefully it doesn't cost an arm and leg. If it does, I'll think of an alternate plan. In the meanwhile, I'll probably leave it up for a few months and make sure this is what I want to do.
We'll see how it goes.
P.S. Mountainview, CA: I would love to know who you are.
What do I plan to do with it? Probably pull it together into a book for myself. I believe Blogger has a program set up so I can do that. Hopefully it doesn't cost an arm and leg. If it does, I'll think of an alternate plan. In the meanwhile, I'll probably leave it up for a few months and make sure this is what I want to do.
We'll see how it goes.
P.S. Mountainview, CA: I would love to know who you are.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
There Are Emails and Then There Are Emaaails
Emails. They can be life savers. You know, when you have to
tell someone something important and you want proof that you did. Or you
email someone who is notorious for keeping you on the phone forever. Short and
sweet. Or you email yourself a reminder, knowing you always check your account
when you get home. Or when you have to tell someone bad news. Who
wouldn’t rather send an email, though that’s a little dangerous and you
probably know why. That leads into . . .
Emails. They can be the bane of our existence. You send an email asking for clarification on someone’s email or you remind someone what they forgot to do. Or you make a statement, it can be positive but especially those that are negative, and before you know it, you’re in a heated email debate. I hate those with a passion. I’ve had the misfortune to be involved in three separate instances where people have become angry at something I’ve typed in an email. Working in a day job that includes mainly working with men, I’ve learned to be short and to the point. Nothing like my writing here or my romances.
The first time it happened, I tried my best to defuse it by explaining why I said what I did. When the angry emailer continued to blast me, I knew it wasn’t getting anywhere. Some people just want to take offense and see words that aren’t written in the email. In other words, they read between the lines. Sad thing, I try to be polite, but I never say anything I don’t mean. I have no idea what type of experiences that person has had in the past. She (yes, very sad thing, they’ve all been women) may have been lied to by another woman and she didn’t trust I was being truthful. Or she thought I was being sarcastic. It’s a shame there are no fonts for Truthfulness, Teasing, Sarcasm, and Sincerity.
Another time, I simply asked a question that someone else had asked me. I was mildly curious and a simple answer in turn would’ve satisfied me. Lord of Mercy, you would’ve thought I had questioned their ancestry. After learning from the previous time of how when someone doesn’t like you (that’s when I realized she didn’t – people who like you are less likely to get so offended when you ask a question and not even a personal one), I quickly apologized for the misunderstanding and never asked a question of that function again. Well, at least to that person within her hearing and certainly not in an email to anyone.
The doozy email problem was with an author I’d admired and really liked, and it had happened in-between the two above. Looking back on it, I realized I could’ve handled it better. It was during a stressful time for everyone, and I had already been on pins and needles as the author in a previous email had accused me of ignoring her at a function. I cried when I got that email. Like I said it was stressful time and one of my favorite people was upset with me. Needless to say, when she began fussing at a meeting about how something was handled (she hadn’t attended a meeting in a year) and then emailed our chapter loop complaining, once again, I tried to explain, even stood up for myself. As you can imagine, it didn’t go well. She has spoken to me only once since then, but she hasn’t been to a writers meeting since. I hated that it happened, but we all must move on. Although, like I said, I could’ve handled it better, I know she wouldn’t listen to what I had to say as she’d already decided that I couldn’t be trusted. Too sad.
If only these people knew, I’m so honest as sometimes I take on responsibility of things I later find out wasn’t my fault. I just assume I screwed up. I know I’m not perfect, wished I was. One thing I have realized, sounding like you’re too nice (giving truthful compliments about clothes or something they did) can make people who don’t like you think you’re insincere.
So what I’ve learned from all of this. Don’t have negative opinions in emails. If someone attacks you in an email or you think they have, ignore them. If you can’t, keep it short (that’s very important), polite, and if you must do so to defuse the situation, apologize, and then don’t answer any more of their emails about that subject afterwards. Then if they continue to send accusations or whatever, others (if it is on a loop or public arena) will realize it wasn’t you, or if privately, they will realize you’re ready to move on and their insecurities are their problem.
Emails. They can be the bane of our existence. You send an email asking for clarification on someone’s email or you remind someone what they forgot to do. Or you make a statement, it can be positive but especially those that are negative, and before you know it, you’re in a heated email debate. I hate those with a passion. I’ve had the misfortune to be involved in three separate instances where people have become angry at something I’ve typed in an email. Working in a day job that includes mainly working with men, I’ve learned to be short and to the point. Nothing like my writing here or my romances.
The first time it happened, I tried my best to defuse it by explaining why I said what I did. When the angry emailer continued to blast me, I knew it wasn’t getting anywhere. Some people just want to take offense and see words that aren’t written in the email. In other words, they read between the lines. Sad thing, I try to be polite, but I never say anything I don’t mean. I have no idea what type of experiences that person has had in the past. She (yes, very sad thing, they’ve all been women) may have been lied to by another woman and she didn’t trust I was being truthful. Or she thought I was being sarcastic. It’s a shame there are no fonts for Truthfulness, Teasing, Sarcasm, and Sincerity.
Another time, I simply asked a question that someone else had asked me. I was mildly curious and a simple answer in turn would’ve satisfied me. Lord of Mercy, you would’ve thought I had questioned their ancestry. After learning from the previous time of how when someone doesn’t like you (that’s when I realized she didn’t – people who like you are less likely to get so offended when you ask a question and not even a personal one), I quickly apologized for the misunderstanding and never asked a question of that function again. Well, at least to that person within her hearing and certainly not in an email to anyone.
The doozy email problem was with an author I’d admired and really liked, and it had happened in-between the two above. Looking back on it, I realized I could’ve handled it better. It was during a stressful time for everyone, and I had already been on pins and needles as the author in a previous email had accused me of ignoring her at a function. I cried when I got that email. Like I said it was stressful time and one of my favorite people was upset with me. Needless to say, when she began fussing at a meeting about how something was handled (she hadn’t attended a meeting in a year) and then emailed our chapter loop complaining, once again, I tried to explain, even stood up for myself. As you can imagine, it didn’t go well. She has spoken to me only once since then, but she hasn’t been to a writers meeting since. I hated that it happened, but we all must move on. Although, like I said, I could’ve handled it better, I know she wouldn’t listen to what I had to say as she’d already decided that I couldn’t be trusted. Too sad.
If only these people knew, I’m so honest as sometimes I take on responsibility of things I later find out wasn’t my fault. I just assume I screwed up. I know I’m not perfect, wished I was. One thing I have realized, sounding like you’re too nice (giving truthful compliments about clothes or something they did) can make people who don’t like you think you’re insincere.
So what I’ve learned from all of this. Don’t have negative opinions in emails. If someone attacks you in an email or you think they have, ignore them. If you can’t, keep it short (that’s very important), polite, and if you must do so to defuse the situation, apologize, and then don’t answer any more of their emails about that subject afterwards. Then if they continue to send accusations or whatever, others (if it is on a loop or public arena) will realize it wasn’t you, or if privately, they will realize you’re ready to move on and their insecurities are their problem.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Cardboard People
Have you ever read a book and never felt like you knew the character? You often don't even finish the book. While the books you read and love, doesn't it feel like you know those people?
When a book has a hero/heroine who never changes their personality or even their mind, then they're a cardboard character. One dimensional.
What got me to thinking today about that was how I've changed over the years. Not just appearing older (and bigger - though now not quite as big - thank goodness) but how I feel about life and the people around me. When I was a kid, I wouldn't drink tea. Yeah, I know, how un-Southern of me. Well, now I love the stuff. Part of the reason was my mom put so little sugar in it, it tasted like tainted water. My mother-in-law uses a lot of sugar and that's when I fell in love with it.
You know people expect you to be the same as you were as a child, teenager or young adult. Impossible for most of us. We mature, have different experiences, learn to improve on ourselves or develop bad habits. I'm not the same person I was last year. Sure, basically I am, but still I've changed.
So if you read a book where the heroine (using a woman for an example) is kick-ass and sure of herself to the point she does no wrong, then she's cardboard, one dimensional. I like my heroines with big faults and big problems to solve. She learns new ways to deal with her problems. She's even willing to look outside the box.
The same thing for the guy. I like a guy to skirt the law if needed and not always to justify the end. That realization of needing to improve comes often after he falls in love and wants to be a better man. Maybe he doesn't know how and the heroine doesn't have to show him. He just depends on instinct, wanting to please his lady and become a better man. Don't forget, men think different than women. What he thinks is a better man might not actually fit into what the heroine "thinks" is better. But us women are flexible, we're willing to applaud the effort.
Three to four dimensional characters is what I shoot for and sometimes readers aren't willing to let them grow and become better people. I have to say if they would give them a chance, it will be so worth it.
When a book has a hero/heroine who never changes their personality or even their mind, then they're a cardboard character. One dimensional.
What got me to thinking today about that was how I've changed over the years. Not just appearing older (and bigger - though now not quite as big - thank goodness) but how I feel about life and the people around me. When I was a kid, I wouldn't drink tea. Yeah, I know, how un-Southern of me. Well, now I love the stuff. Part of the reason was my mom put so little sugar in it, it tasted like tainted water. My mother-in-law uses a lot of sugar and that's when I fell in love with it.
You know people expect you to be the same as you were as a child, teenager or young adult. Impossible for most of us. We mature, have different experiences, learn to improve on ourselves or develop bad habits. I'm not the same person I was last year. Sure, basically I am, but still I've changed.
So if you read a book where the heroine (using a woman for an example) is kick-ass and sure of herself to the point she does no wrong, then she's cardboard, one dimensional. I like my heroines with big faults and big problems to solve. She learns new ways to deal with her problems. She's even willing to look outside the box.
The same thing for the guy. I like a guy to skirt the law if needed and not always to justify the end. That realization of needing to improve comes often after he falls in love and wants to be a better man. Maybe he doesn't know how and the heroine doesn't have to show him. He just depends on instinct, wanting to please his lady and become a better man. Don't forget, men think different than women. What he thinks is a better man might not actually fit into what the heroine "thinks" is better. But us women are flexible, we're willing to applaud the effort.
Three to four dimensional characters is what I shoot for and sometimes readers aren't willing to let them grow and become better people. I have to say if they would give them a chance, it will be so worth it.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
iBookstore
I mentioned this on Facebook and Twitter and totally missed it here. But a couple weeks ago, Circle of Desire was #2 on iBookstore's Romance Erotica. Isn't that cool? It's staying in the top 10 (updated daily or hourly, not sure) most of the time and today around 6 p.m. was in number 10.
It's been so much fun looking at the list every day. Friday, I noticed that the sub-category Erotica had been dropped off the "MORE ROMANCE" title. WHAT! So I've sent an email to iTunes. We'll see if they even fix it. So if you type in Erotica Romance (in the search location), it goes to mostly the regular erotica. Yes, there is a difference. Big time difference. So frustrating.
So the only way I've found to get that spot is to type in my name in the search location. Click on Circle of Desire and then at the top left, click on Erotica (shows as Books > Romance > Erotica > Carla Swafford). Then the bestseller list is on the right.
For prosperity, I 'snipped' the website so I can keep it, plus show you. This is from January 11, 2012, when Circle of Desire was #2.
It's been so much fun looking at the list every day. Friday, I noticed that the sub-category Erotica had been dropped off the "MORE ROMANCE" title. WHAT! So I've sent an email to iTunes. We'll see if they even fix it. So if you type in Erotica Romance (in the search location), it goes to mostly the regular erotica. Yes, there is a difference. Big time difference. So frustrating.
So the only way I've found to get that spot is to type in my name in the search location. Click on Circle of Desire and then at the top left, click on Erotica (shows as Books > Romance > Erotica > Carla Swafford). Then the bestseller list is on the right.
For prosperity, I 'snipped' the website so I can keep it, plus show you. This is from January 11, 2012, when Circle of Desire was #2.
[Added 1/23/12: You can also go to my book by clicking Books, then $3.99 and less, and then click on Romance. I'm in that section (no "Top" chart) too!]
[Added 3/14/12: Sad to say, as of the end of Janaury, iBooks dropped this category - not Erotica, but Erotica Romance. Circle of Desire is now under regular Romance, AVON IMPULSE, and $3.99. Doesn't show up in Romantic Suspense and not even contemporary. And it's no longer on a top 10 chart. Geez! Nice while it lasted.]
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sick Puppy
I've decided that I like to do edits. To me, it inspires. Makes me improve my story and fills me with confidence that the story is working. No. I'm not expecting my editor to read this. I really feel this way.
To some people, I'm a sick puppy for feeling this way.
Just saying . . .
To some people, I'm a sick puppy for feeling this way.
Just saying . . .
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Luck or Skill
I love to play games: board, cards, video, softball, whatever. When it comes to cards and other table
games, I’m usually lucky the first few hands and then I don’t know if I get too
sure of myself or what, but I start losing.
One time I played a dice game almost every weekend with one of my husband's aunts, and for around two years, I lost every hand. Don't ask me why I kept playing. I don't have an answer. Maybe because it was fun and I'm too hard-headed to give up. Then I finally won a game. Funny thing. We stopped playing.
I did learn I wasn't a strategist and most games involve that skill.
Anyway, I've never counted on luck to carry me through anything. Lotteries. Tried them but I knew it was unlikely that I would win. But I do have to say at special church functions, I won several door prizes. There has been times I just "felt" something good would happen and it did.
Yeah, yeah, I know this all sounds strange because I did enter several writing contests over the years. But to me that wasn't entirely luck. A good portion of it had to be the story that caught the judges' attention along with my writing. So in that case, luck played only a small part.
Though not a game, but has to do with luck: when the day job I had for twenty years sold and was being moved away by the new company, I was blessed and fortunate to find another job immediately with the possibility of even another with a company I really wanted to work with. Well, I did. Now I work for the company I wish I had started at those twenty years before (I would've made a heck of lot more money and have a bigger 401K too).
I felt powerful like I could do anything. Though I had gone through hard times at the old company, I knew my job inside and out. I was confident. Then I started at the new day job and it kicked my butt. I felt stupid. I felt like I disappointed a lot of people. After thirteen (see #13 popping up) years, I'm finally back confident with my job though it's stressful and kicks my butt often. And some days I don't feel so smart. But not stupid, thank goodness.
When I got The Call last year and knew I would finally have a book published, I expected my luck to start getting better again, but I was aware it could stay the same. I figured it could go one of two ways. I could do real great at first (like I do in games) and then everything would slack off and I would disappoint myself and others. Or I would struggle in the beginning and then people would become confident in me and my books would slowly grow in popularity.
Well, I think it's a combination (so far) of both. I enjoy working with my editor and everything went well. Got a great blurb from a well-know author (my sweet friend) and impressed my editor and agent. The way I look at it, I did everything right. (I think.) But my sales haven't been where they need to be. I work real hard not to compare myself to anyone, but it's human nature to do so and I feel in some ways as if I let people down. Sorry. Pity Party moment.
BUT, it might be the other thing happening. Where I start off slow and everything grows in popularity. One of the benefits of not having an advance, I don't have to worry about it being paid back and maybe my publisher will give me a little longer to get the word out there. Everything is pointing to me getting another contract but who knows? They may decide I'm not worth the trouble.
It's a shame that this all didn't happen when the economy was better and I was making some great bonuses - the day job company hasn't paid one in three, going on four years. The bonuses would've been helpful in paying for advertising. And we all know how that helps a lot.
Truth be told, there were a few other things that could've been done differently by others and I've wondered why some were treated better, but that's neither here or there and this isn't the place to air that. The Party ends here.
I plan to hang in there and keep working at getting my name out into the public, write more books and see what happens. The slow to start and grow in confidence and popularity sounds good to me. So much better than depending on luck.
So wish me luck...uh...continued success and I'll let you know how the next book does.
One time I played a dice game almost every weekend with one of my husband's aunts, and for around two years, I lost every hand. Don't ask me why I kept playing. I don't have an answer. Maybe because it was fun and I'm too hard-headed to give up. Then I finally won a game. Funny thing. We stopped playing.
I did learn I wasn't a strategist and most games involve that skill.
Anyway, I've never counted on luck to carry me through anything. Lotteries. Tried them but I knew it was unlikely that I would win. But I do have to say at special church functions, I won several door prizes. There has been times I just "felt" something good would happen and it did.
Yeah, yeah, I know this all sounds strange because I did enter several writing contests over the years. But to me that wasn't entirely luck. A good portion of it had to be the story that caught the judges' attention along with my writing. So in that case, luck played only a small part.
Though not a game, but has to do with luck: when the day job I had for twenty years sold and was being moved away by the new company, I was blessed and fortunate to find another job immediately with the possibility of even another with a company I really wanted to work with. Well, I did. Now I work for the company I wish I had started at those twenty years before (I would've made a heck of lot more money and have a bigger 401K too).
I felt powerful like I could do anything. Though I had gone through hard times at the old company, I knew my job inside and out. I was confident. Then I started at the new day job and it kicked my butt. I felt stupid. I felt like I disappointed a lot of people. After thirteen (see #13 popping up) years, I'm finally back confident with my job though it's stressful and kicks my butt often. And some days I don't feel so smart. But not stupid, thank goodness.
When I got The Call last year and knew I would finally have a book published, I expected my luck to start getting better again, but I was aware it could stay the same. I figured it could go one of two ways. I could do real great at first (like I do in games) and then everything would slack off and I would disappoint myself and others. Or I would struggle in the beginning and then people would become confident in me and my books would slowly grow in popularity.
Well, I think it's a combination (so far) of both. I enjoy working with my editor and everything went well. Got a great blurb from a well-know author (my sweet friend) and impressed my editor and agent. The way I look at it, I did everything right. (I think.) But my sales haven't been where they need to be. I work real hard not to compare myself to anyone, but it's human nature to do so and I feel in some ways as if I let people down. Sorry. Pity Party moment.
BUT, it might be the other thing happening. Where I start off slow and everything grows in popularity. One of the benefits of not having an advance, I don't have to worry about it being paid back and maybe my publisher will give me a little longer to get the word out there. Everything is pointing to me getting another contract but who knows? They may decide I'm not worth the trouble.
It's a shame that this all didn't happen when the economy was better and I was making some great bonuses - the day job company hasn't paid one in three, going on four years. The bonuses would've been helpful in paying for advertising. And we all know how that helps a lot.
Truth be told, there were a few other things that could've been done differently by others and I've wondered why some were treated better, but that's neither here or there and this isn't the place to air that. The Party ends here.
I plan to hang in there and keep working at getting my name out into the public, write more books and see what happens. The slow to start and grow in confidence and popularity sounds good to me. So much better than depending on luck.
So wish me luck...uh...continued success and I'll let you know how the next book does.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Come On Over
Yep, once again, it's that time! I'm over at the Romance Magicians talking about lucky numbers. Funny thing was I almost forgot to post on my scheduled day.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Re-Run #10
Avon Romance: Introducing Carla Swafford (October 26, 2011)
I'm going to cheat on this one and make you click here and you'll go straight there. It's just so cool as this one was on Avon's blog. Yeah. Cool, isn't it? I never dreamed I would be with the same publisher as Susan Elizabeth Phillips. In fact, the other day, all of the Avon authors had a conference call to hear a presentation on Social Media and Susan spoke up. When she said her name, I had to cover my mouth from squealing. Considering how often I roll my eyes when other people do that, that's got to tell you something. LOL!
I'm going to cheat on this one and make you click here and you'll go straight there. It's just so cool as this one was on Avon's blog. Yeah. Cool, isn't it? I never dreamed I would be with the same publisher as Susan Elizabeth Phillips. In fact, the other day, all of the Avon authors had a conference call to hear a presentation on Social Media and Susan spoke up. When she said her name, I had to cover my mouth from squealing. Considering how often I roll my eyes when other people do that, that's got to tell you something. LOL!
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